In a world of vapid dating “advice” articles and promoted links invading Facebook with titles like “You’ll Never Believe What He Did, It Just Blew Me Away! Wow! Amazing! Click Now!” we are overrun with unsubstantial content that has flooded our minds with basically just a bunch of BS.
When popular magazines and websites focus on things like “Do this one secret thing and he’ll be yours forever,” we spread messages throughout society that promote band-aid solutions to very real issues such as the growing inability of younger generations to build and maintain relationships.
So in the name of cutting through all the crap, here are ten true qualities men should value when it comes to women.
1. She is focused on self-development
A relationship with depth can only come from two teammates with depth. And depth as a person comes from living an interesting life. Living an interesting life comes from being interested in life. A passionate curiosity for life and becoming your best will draw others with the same qualities to you, as well as help you develop individually and as a team.
If it’s reading or any other choice of intellectual fuel, consistent growth is important in a partner.
2. She is kind to others
One of the things I pride myself on is being just as kind to someone who asks me a question on the street, as I would be to my BFF. For any man like this, its safe to say that a woman who is snappy or unconsciously-rude will make him incredibly uncomfortable, and add unnecessary stress to social situations.
3. She is open to new experiences
Its impossible to get bored with a woman who always keeps life interesting. Passion for travel, exploration, trying new things for the first time…this is what fuels an exciting life! Now keep in mind, Im not telling you finish off your bucket-list over a weekend, but keeping a consistent flow of “new things” keeps that spark alive. A woman who not only wants to share those things with you, but comes up with great ideas of places to see or things to try, will definitely hold our attention.
4. She develops her own view of the world
Rather than accepting what she is told without question or having a “smile and nod” approach to every piece of media she comes across, critical thinking is an attractive quality because it displays intelligence and curiosity.
Note: This doesn’t mean someone who distrusts others or is cynical – but instead, someone who is well-versed on issues and has reasons for her opinions.
5. She is comfortable letting a man be a man
A woman who is truly confident in herself will understand that while she is equal to her significant other, she is not the same as him. He has different strengths than she does and vice versa. As men, we naturally enjoy being protective of the woman in our life, making her feel safe, doing small things for her to let her know we care.
A woman who denies a man of these natural tendencies will (to most men) emasculate him and deprive him of doing small things he enjoys. A confident woman will understand a man being chivalrous means he is doing things for her because he wants to show her she is valued, not because he thinks she cant do it herself.
6. She is there for you, as you are for her
Two words: Mutual support. I know it might not seem like it at times, but guys need a hug every once in awhile too.
7. She embraces variety
There is nothing better than a woman who is just as comfortable dressing for a formal event as she is in sweatpants playing video games on the couch. Life brings us all types of situations, and having a partner in crime we love experiencing them all with is a big source of happiness.
8. She is social (but not too social)
In addition to the previous point, the ability and desire to be social is also important. Now, I understand some people are socially awkward and I’ve been called out in previous articles about ostracizing them in some ways for saying this. That is obviously not my intention.
I feel that when we are out at an event, hanging out with friends, or at a family function – a woman who can smile and seamlessly blend herself into the situation is incredibly attractive.
9. She takes pride in her appearance
No, this doesn’t mean that only the super-pretty or gym-addicted are acceptable. Any person, man or woman, becomes more desirable if they pay attention to their appearance. It is in our biological nature to put importance on physical attraction, and everyone is attracted to something different.
A little time in the gym, an active lifestyle, or just knowing how to accentuate your positive features, all work wonders.
10. She acts as one half of a team
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. A relationship is a team comprised of two people who are taking on life side by side. As any good team, they work together as well as “fill in the blanks” with each others strengths and weaknesses.
A woman who recognizes you as her teammate in life will take your likes, dislikes, and interests into consideration when making choices (big or small). She will consider your feelings and take them into account (as you should for her).
Of course, it’s important that a woman like this sets her standards high for the type of man she will accept into her own life, as well. As men, we’ve got to put in an equal amount of effort to ourselves and our relationship if we want to find happiness.
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