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Clients From Hell

Customers: It’s a love, hate relationship.  You can’t always get what you want. I love my clients, but there’s no question that from time to time you will get some bad apples.  Let’s start with the one who pays and demands a refund for no reason other than they’re broke. Or the one who commits then quits. How about the one that pays a retainer and backs out half way through the project.  Or the one who waits far, far longer than the refund period and then expects a refund.  Let’s get real, it isn’t these customers who keep us in business but instead it’s these customers who annoy the shit out of us, demand our attention and still leave unhappy.

To the individuals who pays and demands a refund because you’re broke. Learn to quit buying shit you can’t afford.  Here’s the deal, we have businesses to run, mouths to feed, and overhead to pay while we didn’t go into business today with the anticipation of going out of business tomorrow we would appreciate your willingness to tell us upfront that you can’t afford to buy our products/services.  Doing so would save us both time, money, effort and energy.  Because look, it isn’t easy dealing with you.  Actually it’s a pain in the ass, a headache, one thing we just don’t have time to deal with.  We understand and will happily refund you if you don’t like it, something is wrong with it or it just didn’t “fit right.” But, we don’t understand your stupidity. If you can’t afford it don’t buy it.  It’s really that simple.

To the individual who commits then quits.  Look you bought the product to get a certain result.  If You don’t work then It won’t work.  It’s really that simple.  Don’t expect to get results if you don’t put in the effort.  Don’t buy the product if you don’t plan on doing the work.  Look we’ve all done it, bought this amazing new product, joined this great company, expected this miraculous result and when we didn’t get it we got pissed, angry and upset at company who sold it to us instead of ourselves.  While I get that you had the best intentions you and I both know whose problem this is.  Yours.  Stop giving up on yourself.  Stop quitting because it’s too hard, too complicated, or too much work.

To you who paid a retainer and then backed out half way through the project.  Let me tell you it’s rude, uncalled for and a complete waste of time, effort, and energy for both of us.  You want the project done as much as we want to do the project.  You are committed to us as much as we are committed to you.  We want to execute, impress you, and finish the project more than you realize.  The problem is that when you back out half way our resources are tied up in assets that no longer bring a return. While we understand that at times circumstances happen that are beyond your control if you don’t have the resources to complete the project don’t start it on a prayer, hope, and dream that the finances, or resources will magically appear.  It’s most likely they won’t because you are working half ass and aren’t fully committed.

To you who waited far, far longer than the refund period and yet expect a refund. What is wrong with you?  Honestly.  I know you may be going through tough times, but look that doesn’t mean you should return used, opened, damaged, or altered products.  If you want to wait longer than the refund period then that’s not our fault.  Don’t expect us as service providers to take responsibility for your laziness, complacency, and inability to take action and change your current situation.

While I LOVE my clients and it’s extremely rare that I have these issues my time working with others has proved that this is a far more common occurrence then we would like to acknowledge. I know you’ve dealt with these type of clients, customers, and situations.  I would love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to leave your comments & horror stories below.