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Douchebags of the 21st century – Time for a change

Remember Romeo? Whatever happened to that guy? You know, the handsome, intelligent and sensitive man that fought for his Juliet back in the 15th century. The idealistic and passionate character that only had one woman in his life. The man all women dreamt of. Well, it’s been a long stretch since the 1400s, and after douchebags such as Donald Trump and Charlie Sheen made it to the spotlight, all that was left of Romeo was, well, nothing.  What the fuck happened?

Lets face it, no woman wakes up saying “God, I hope I don’t get swept off my feet today”. Now, she might say something like; “I’m really into my career right now” or “It’s a really bad time right now” or “Insert bullshit excuse here”. You don’t actually believe that do you? Well guess what, neither does she! They’re all looking for Mr. Perfect, the right man who’s going to love them “through sickness and in health”, a man who would never cheat, lie or abandon them – sounds like a fairytale doesn’t it?

You see, there is a reason why they blow you off. It’s not your look that’s the problem, not your brains either, and if you had the guts to walk up to her, it shouldn’t be your lack of confidence. Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with you specifically, but rather your gender predispositions. It sounds messed up doesn’t it? I mean how the hell can your gender be the problem, when that’s the only thing that shouldn’t be the problem? Let me break it down to you. From a female perspective, men live in a new society where social and ethical norms have flourished into a reality where getting laid is as easy as buying a pack of Skittles. A new era where “new” social standards have blurred out the boundary between love and sex.

She would never believe you are genuinely interested in her without having your own agenda figured out. She´ll be thinking, “He´s like every other guy, just looking for a good lay”, which, as life experience has taught her, is a virtual certainty. You see, whether it’s a good guy or a bad guy, today’s male population has traits imbedded in their DNA that makes them want to screw anything that moves. Having said that, the female mentality comes into question. I mean with all these “asshole” attributes rooted inside of us, why do you still go out with us? Is it the physical desire of intimacy? Or is it that, even though the odds are minor, you´re still hoping that you’ll one-day bump into the guy who truly will sweep you off your feet? But nevertheless, let’s try to even the odds out a little; after all, nice guys finish last right?

Nice guys do indeed finish last. I’m talking about the guys who work on their long-term relationships to end up with the girl of their dreams. The nice guys who fight through their relationships as if they where marathons and not sprints. Men who would wake up at four in the morning just to answer her phone call. I’m talking about the men who play a game – a game all women play: A tactical game where you play defense, while all the other men play offense; in a strategic battlefield where the only way to capture the flag is through utter subtlety and compassion. So theoretically speaking, if you only acquire a little bit of the “nice guy” traits, you would become less of a dick. Here are some pointers that might just get you in check, try to keep up.

Let me hit you up with some facts; 60% of human communication is non-verbal, it’s body language! Another 30 % is your tone. That means that 90% of all your communication aint coming out of your mouth. But don’t get your hopes up just yet, just because you do less talking doesn’t mean it gets easier.  You see, ever since Jersey Shore was aired (which in my opinion was a social catastrophe), respectable beautiful women turn you down gracelessly even though you’re sending all the right signals. As a matter of fact, they thrive from turning guys like you and me down, for good and for bad. But what do you expect? Of course she´s going to turn you down, she doesn’t know you – yet! Luckily the fact is, even the most beautiful woman doesn’t know what she wants until she sees it.

You cannot use what you do not have. That means that if you don’t have Ryan Gosling’s body, don’t put on a tight shirt, it won’t fit you… If you don’t have that “inner blackness” in you, don’t hit her up with some slang you don’t know the definition of, that shit can get you killed. Remember, she may not want the whole truth, but she does want the real you. She may not want to see it all at once, but she does want to see it. So if you’re shy, be shy. If you’re outgoing, be outgoing – not all women fall for the whole bad boy thing. The trick is to introduce “You”, in very small doses. Because, let’s be honest, she doesn’t want to hear about your messed up habits on the first date. You singing “Yeah” by Usher every time you hit the shower can wait…a long time. You watching the OC every Saturday night will prevail…eventually.

Even the smallest details that contrast you from an asshole are essential. Trust me, I grew up amongst aunts, god knows how many times I’ve been slapped for not holding the door open for them. So you pay the bill, you make her laugh and you sure as hell open the door for her, unless you want to get slapped, which in that case, I got you covered. But here comes the important part – read and comprehend! You do not get laid on the first date (or the second and third for that matter) – get that shit out of your head! It may be hard to keep it in your pants, but that just might be the difference between “Oh my god, he was so sweet, I’m definitely calling him again” and “What a pig, I can’t believe I went out with him”.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that, as men in a modern society with norms established by an overdose of sexual liberty; we have to start acting like men. Keeping a notebook with all your “lucky strikes” hidden in your left pocket is not going to cut it anymore. Why? Because behind every great man is a great woman, one great woman.