Whenever we lay our eyes on our prey, whenever we see our potential future lover, a spark is ignited. Not an emotional spark and it sure as hell isn’t a deep sentimental spark, it’s simply a physical spark. Because unless you believe in love at first sight, the primary intention that’s going to make us attracted to that individual, is his or her physical and objective attraction, nothing else. It’s like the saying, “never judge a book by its cover”, as a book can look really great on the cover and you get that crazy urge to read it, it might as well be, in lack of better words, shit. What I’m trying to emphasize on is, before committing to a relationship, before going all in, take a look on what’s hiding behind the curtains.
We´ve all been in relationships that might not have been the way we expected them to be. The subtle relationships, the intense and physical relationships, the straight up crazy relationships, and the list just keeps on going. But what I’ve come to realize is that, you don’t really know what you do want, before you realize what you don’t want. I mean it honestly doesn’t get simpler than that; you have to go through merciless relationships to realize that you don’t want them, because until you don’t go through the bad and the good, you wont be able to differentiate between them. With that being said, there are essential foundational qualities we should be looking for in a partner, to increase our “chances” of a sustainable relationship. Let me break it down to you, here are five essential traits you should be looking for in order to get your “happily ever after”.
Someone with a plan
Imagine committing to a partner who doesn’t have a plan. No long terms goals, no short term goals, an individual who’s just floating the waves of life, taking on everything as it comes. As the whole “rebellious” act can be seen as a pretty attractive characteristic for some people, sooner or later a huge wave is going to come passing by, and by then, they’re pretty much screwed. You want to be looking for an individual you can depend on and someone who can’t only fight their own battles, but help and guide you through yours as well, I mean after all, a relationship is based on mutual support and compassion, not individual struggles.
Someone who supports your ventures
When committing to a relationship, you’re committing to so much more than just your love to one another. I’m talking about committing to personal sacrifices, fundamental promises and even affectionate expenses, in which you have to deliver in order to keep a sustainable relationship. So to give it to you straight, if he´s not that interested or committed on supporting you with your new entrepreneurial idea or if she´s no that “into” what you’re doing and therefore doesn’t give two shits about it, you’re in it for the wrong reasons. And spare yourself the excuse of saying “it doesn’t really matter if he or she isn’t into what I’m doing, as long as they love me”, well baby, don’t you think they would have been interested in what you were doing if they really loved you?
Someone who doesn’t need their friends validation
Listen, the last thing you need is an insecure partner who doesn’t know if you you’re the right one, and instead of talking to you about it, he or she “investigates” the situation by discussing your qualities with their friends. No, to hell with that, the only validation they´ll need is their own. I mean I would understand if they talked to their close friends or family about what they think, just to get general unbiased thoughts, but their thoughts are straight up indecisive opinions. Opinions that are not based on facts or knowledge, because the only one who truly knows what lies beneath the surface, is you. You want someone who can walk down the park with you at a Sunday evening with their head held up high. A woman that will introduce you to her inner circle, even though they might not like you. So if your partner doesn’t have the guts to stand up for you, based on their own personal thoughts, beliefs and emotions, you’re in for a heartbreaker.
Someone who loves you
Sounds a little crazy doesn’t it, I mean who would possibly commit to a serious relationship if the three most magic words haven’t been said yet, right? Now I know, due to the “modern” society that we live in today, I’ll be stamped as old fashioned, well bite me! There are so many relationships out there that are strictly not based on love, and more on, how do I put this, the physical attraction. The physical actions, that are so often confused with love, are one of the reasons why relationships keep on failing. Now I´m not saying you should force your partner to say the L word as soon as possible, just to make your relationship “official” or serious, It´ll come when you’re both ready, I’m simply stating that the guy who looks you deep in the eyes, till you get that fuzzy feeling in your body, and says “I love you”, he´s a keeper. I’m talking about the woman who calls you while you’re at work, just to say your name and tell you how much she cares about you, she´s a keeper.
Someone who understands you
It’s no surprise that you’ll have to understand each other in order to be with each other. Now I’m not talking about generally understanding what’s coming out of his or her mouth, I mean literally understanding what they´re about. We have the crazies who say something but mean the exact opposite of what they are saying, and then blame their partners for “not understanding” On the other hand we have the subtle yet emotional partner, who doesn’t say much, but has so much built up emotions inside of them, which they think we should be able to get to, through…psychological brainpower. Now I know this sounds very negative, but here comes the twist; The day your partner manages to figure out all those key words and all of the facial expressions that you make when you’re pissed off, annoyed or all of the above, is the day you’ll understand that he or she actually cared and devoted their time and effort to understand who you are and what you’re all about. They went through the tough times; they fought through the hardship in order to understand you, instead of just giving up because “you were too much work”.