We’ve all fallen in love, all felt that little tinder inside our bodies that made us so comfortably nervous, so unusually happy. It’s the most excruciating, addictive and most affectionate feeling in the human freaking nervous system that just can’t be avoided. An uncertain emotion that plays out like a game of poker, you either go all in, sacrificing all your chips for that special gut feeling and win big or you fall for the bluff and get cracked down thinking why you ever fell for it in the first place.
Love should be a game changer, an intentional act that throws your lives into the unimaginable. The individual you want to spend the rest of your life with shouldn’t just be “yet another try”, it should be something that really just makes you feel two things. The person should be your happiest, most unforgettable individual and should by all means be your favorite hello and – by far- your hardest goodbye. They should be the one you never forget about meeting the first time and the person you couldn’t imagine letting go of.
Nevertheless, it never turns out like your favorite love-story, it never ends up like Hollywood’s well-crafted scripts. Because what mainstream media and todays’ pop culture has done, is that they’ve over-exaggerated the perception of love, overdosing it with over-ambitious fairytales that they’ve slowly tried to ingrain into our lives. Forget about the Notebook, screw Gossip Girl and by all means ignore Hitch!
Most probably, you won’t have an amazing, awkwardly cute, dreamlike, irreplaceable first meeting. In fact, your almost surely (unless you’re crazy lucky) going to meet your true love exactly the same way you meet any other individual – normally.
But then again I understand you, I understand me! We love fairytales, they are absolutely magical! I mean who wouldn’t want to meet their soul-mate at a park during a warm autumn day, where your dog suddenly takes off, taking care of the introduction for you. The romance and timing would be absolutely ideal, seeing things coming together just the way you thought they would. But, sorry to break it down to you, you don’t live in a chick-flick – you’re not Romeo fighting for your Juliet or vice versa – snap out of it.
You see, we all live on planet Earth (unless that was unclear to anyone), we all live in a reality in which, don’t want to be a party pooper or anything; everything is normal, usual – plain. Now I’m not saying that you don’t have an exciting, thrilling life, I’m just saying, stop comparing it to last night’s movie.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter how, when or where you two meet, as long as the two of you actually meet, right? I mean if you’re looking to time your love, if you’re waiting for that special magical fictional moment, you’ll wait forever, missing out on amazing opportunities, because the reason we tend to fall in love is not because of that specific special one-time moment, it’s because of the moments you know you’ll have together.
Having a fairytale-like plan of how you want to meet that special someone will filter out so much of the good things happening to you in life. Because as your bubble gets bigger and bigger, raising your expectations and putting that dream-like individual on a sky-high pedestal, you’ll filter even more things out, not seeing people for who they really are, comparing them to a fantasized picture that doesn’t exist. And before you know it, “puff”, the bubble bursts and you’re left all alone. And let’s be honest, we don’t meet that many people in our lives, I mean yeah, we probably see millions during our life-span, but we only meet a fraction of those individuals, so don’t ruin a potential someone just because you illustrated them to be something completely different.
But how do you actually know that you’ve met the one? How do you figure out if the person is the right one or not? Well let me put it this way, if you wake up every morning feeling so unbelievably happy about who you woke up next to, if you feel, deep down in your gut, that you’re going to bed with the right person, you’re definitely on the right track. If you catch yourself daydreaming, thinking about how your life might have turned out if you didn’t meet him at the subway or what you would be doing if you didn’t bump into her at the coffee shop that afternoon, you’re in a good place. But the most terrifying, the most difficult thing you ever could imagine, would be having to say goodbye.
I’m a sucker for love, I’ll admit that. And its not because I get to be with someone, it’s because of the power it has, to join two strangers together in a way no one and nothing else does. For some reason it makes us feel like this individual is a part of us, a limb that we can’t believe we have been living without. But here is the thing, the only way I can differentiate love from any other “love-like” emotion, is by the act of saying goodbye – really saying goodbye, and living your life happily ever after with your heart still intact. Because if that’s what happened, then that person wasn’t the right one for you.
So listen, step out of your comfort zone, leave all of the mainstream love-stories on the shelf and find your soul mate in the most regular and non-sexy way possible, and when you do, dare to hold on, dare to never say goodbye.
Picture Credit: We Heart It