The subject we all secretly think about all the time, is there something wrong with me? Why am I not in a relationship? Am I a failure for not having a significant other? Cheer up, there is nothing wrong with being single, sometimes it is actually empowering and better.
For some, it is difficult to feel single and empowered. Single and complete. Single and fulfilled. But the reality of it is, there are plenty of ways to live a happy single life.
This realization usually only comes when we understand that happiness depends on ourselves and not someone else’s approval of us. But it’s one thing to say that it is okay to be single, and a whole other thing to say that it’s a good thing. So, if you are still single (especially if you’d like to be in a relationship), how could it possibly be a positive?
Being single means you don’t need anyone to make you happy.
As I just mentioned, life experiences and self reflection often bring us to the very real conclusion that happiness (real happiness) comes from within. It comes from working on becoming the best version of yourself, it comes from settling and accomplishing goals. It comes from making progress and developing.
Learning this on your own is a valuable lesson that will allow you to bring a fresh perspective into a new relationship, if you decide to pursue one. You will understand that if you are not happy single, you won’t be happy with someone else, either. They will enhance your happiness, but they can never be the core source of it.
Being single means you’re not afraid to be.
Many people avoid being single at all costs. They are serial monogamists who jump from one relationship to the next because they are searching for fulfillment where they will never really find it: Elsewhere.
They have not yet learned the lesson discussed in the first point and often find themselves in negative situations because of it. Staying single is a respectable sign that you are not chasing after the next person who gives you a friendly glance. If you do, it will be because you want them, not because you need them.
Being single means you’re staying positive.
Well, aren’t you?! You are hopeful that there is someone out there who will someday cross your path when you least expect it, but until then, you are happy on your own! You are working on yourself, spending time with your friends, reading fantastic blogs like this one (I kid, I kid), and are filling yourself with the knowledge and power to take on the world with the best positive attitude.
You are not getting down on yourself because you understand that sometimes you need to be alone in order to figure out what you do and don’t want out of a relationship, a partner, and your life.
Being single means you are not changing for anyone.
There is a big difference between working to improve yourself and becoming silly putty in someone else’s hands. When you do the latter, you can easily lose your identity and your own happiness, while trying to make changes that would make them happy.
Staying single means that you have not succumbed to the pressures of either society or an individual to change the nature of who you are in order to be in a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong – we should all be trying to learn, improve, and grow; but that kind of change is much different than pretending to be someone you are not.
Being single means you refuse to settle.
Perhaps the most important point of all. Sometimes we feel a tug to just be a little more flexible on our standards to find someone. Well, maybe a little more flexible. Just…a little bit more. Until, finally, we find ourselves in a relationship!
With the wrong person.
When you live life solo, you are sending the message that you are strong enough to do so. That you know what you want in a partner and you are not going to accept someone until you find it. Why would you?
While it is important to understand that nobody is perfect and that we can’t set the bar too high, it is still always better to stay single than it is to settle into negative relationships along the way.
The next time someone makes you feel badly for still being single, remind them that it simply means you are strong enough to not settle for less than you deserve.
Photo Credit: We Heart It