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Welcome To The Real World: 5 Signs You’re Ready To Flip Your Tassel To The Left

During my freshman year at Michigan State, I wouldn’t have been able to imagine being excited to graduate college.

In fact, you probably would have found me at a frat party, red solo cup in hand, squealing about how, “I never want college to end!”

Fast forward four years, and my freshman-year self wouldn’t even recognize my senior-year self. To be honest, senior year self would laugh when she saw freshman-year self in public.

Here are five signs you’re like me and ready to get out of there:

1. You judge the photos that younger girls post on social media.

Every time I notice a younger girl in my sorority uploaded photos to Facebook or Instagram, my jaw drops in complete and utter shock.

Thoughts that frequently cross my mind include:

– “She wore that out in public?”

– “Why don’t girls understand that they can attract boys without going to the bar half-naked?”

– “Wait. How is she even at the bar? Isn’t she a freshman?”

– “Oh my God. I think I see her vagina.”

– “I really hope I never looked like that.”

– “This will come back to haunt her when she’s trying to land a job.”

I honestly couldn’t even tell you the last time I wore a pair of heels to the bar. Hell, I can’t recall the last time I wore something other than leggings and a sweater.

“Looking hot” is no longer my first priority. All I care about is spending time with my friends and cherishing the last couple of drunken heart-to-hearts we have left before we head off to different cities.


2. You care about current events.

On more than one occasion, you found yourself sitting in class, listening to the girl in front of you gossip about what happened this week on “The Royals” and thought she was actually talking about the Royal family.

– “The princess was caught snorting cocaine at a night club?”

– “No, no, no. That is not something Princess Kate would do.”

– “And, the prince’s date puked all over the Queen’s garden party?”

– “Where are these kids getting their news from? I think they need to check the credibility of their sources.”

It took you a while, but you finally understood that they were chatting about the new, scripted television show on E!.

But, don’t feel old.

It’s not your fault that you have started consuming real news from CNN, NPR or maybe even an actual newspaper.

Believe me, it’s much more useful to know what’s going on in the world than know Khloé Kardashian followed in her big sister’s footsteps and bleached her hair blonde.


3. You understand there is no point in attending class.

By now, you’ve realized that most of the skills employers want are acquired from hands-on learning at your internship, not from the $200 textbook your professor mandated you purchase. (But, let’s be real, it’s senior year and you probably didn’t even buy that book.)

You’ve also concluded that class is more of a chore than a learning experience, especially since you can find most of your class notes and old exams posted online.

And let’s be honest: the most important skill you’ve mastered in the past four years is nothing a professor can teach, like the art of managing to get an A on a midterm after going out and getting hammered the night before.


4. The thought of the real world no longer scares you.

In this last semester, you’ve:

– Gone on dozens of interviews and may have even signed a contract for your first full-time position.

– Learned how to cook more than grilled cheese.

– Gotten excited to drink good wines and would rather shave your head than take another sip of Franzia.

– Given up on dating because every guy in this town seems way too immature for you.

– Started hunting for an apartment you’ll probably live in for longer than a year.

– Cleaned out your closet and invested in appropriate business attire.

– Cleaned up your act on social media presence.

– Checked your LinkedIn more often than your Facebook.

You’ve done it all on your own and enjoyed it.


5. You have a countdown to graduation on your phone.

Every day, you wake up and check the number of days until you finally flip your tassel to the left and kiss your college years goodbye.

Of course it’ll be bittersweet as you drive the moving van away from the town you’ve called home for the past four years. You’ll probably even shed a tear or two.

But, you know that there are bigger and better things in store for you.

Congrats, class of 2015. Welcome to the real world.

 

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