If you’re heading out for a coffee date to see if you two get along, you’re at the right place.
First dates can be incredibly nerve-wracking and exciting all at once—those awkward moments and silences. While first dates can take different forms, like dinners, drinks, or fun activities, coffee dates are the most common ones.
And one thing that concerns everyone the most, especially first-timers, is whether the length of the date matters at all. If so, how long should a coffee date last? How much time is “enough” to get to know someone?
Well, some people say it should last 4 to 5 hours, while others prefer a shorter date (30 minutes) to avoid awkwardness.
Keep reading to learn exactly how long a coffee date should last so you can get to know the person better. We’ll also provide you with some tips to help you have a great coffee date.
What is Meant by a Coffee date?
A “coffee date” is a social meet-up over a cup of coffee between two people who are romantically interested in one another. They are often casual yet intimate. Unlike dinner dates, coffee dates allow a person to be themselves and enjoy a relaxed conversation.
Research shows that 52% of women and 31% of men prefer to meet at a coffee shop on a first date. Having a quick cup of coffee allows you to get to know your date and ensures you click.
When deciding how long to spend a first date, consider things like how the conversation is going, how energetic you and your date are, what kind of activity you are doing, and how much chemistry you both feel.
Why Prefer Coffee Dates?
First dates are all about making lasting first impressions. Many people wonder why a coffee date is a decent idea to meet someone for the first time.
The reason is coffee dates let two like-minded people connect and get to know each other in a relaxed environment. They are generally less expensive and casual when compared to dinner or other adventurous outing dates.
Moreover, coffee dates promote warm feelings. No, this isn’t about romance; it’s all science. The caffeine in your cup of coffee gives you extra energy and alertness so you can be your best self. Moreover, you look attractive when you pay attention.
According to a University of Colorado study, participants felt more affection or warmer feelings for a fictional character when they were asked to enjoy a warm cup of coffee as opposed to a cold one.
Moreover, even though correlation does not imply causation, replacing the frappuccino with something a little more conventional the next time could be helpful.
Pros of Coffee Dates
- Easy exit strategy
- Cost-friendly
- Short and minimalistic
- Easy conversation
- Low-pressure
- Encourage warm feelings
- Public and convenient
How Long Should A Coffee Date Last?
Honestly, the answer shouldn’t be that complicated. As a general rule of thumb, a coffee date should last between 45 minutes and two hours, regardless of whether things are going well or bad.
One hour is long enough to have deep, meaningful conversations and get to know each other better. That’s also perfect for getting through two cups of coffee while sharing interests and whatnot.
Tips For Having A Great Coffee Date
Now that you know coffee dates are a great way to strike up meaningful conversations, how can you make sure that you get the best experience possible?
We’ve got your back. Here are some coffee date tips to keep in mind before heading out for your first date:
i) Pick the right coffee shop.
Picking the right location and coffee shop makes all the difference in how well your coffee date goes. Besides, it can also reveal a lot about you and your choice. Hence, find a cafe that’s convenient for the two of you.
A calm and aesthetic cafe would be best. Look for a spot that is on the quieter side and has a lot of seating. A cozy corner or a table by the window could be perfect!
ii) Get there early.
Try to be there at a spot before 10 minutes. Being punctual is a sign of respect. Moreover, if you’re feeling particularly nervous, this will give you some time to calm down and prepare yourself for the next few minutes.
Not just that, you can also reduce some of the awkwardness. Talking with waiters might help you strengthen your conversation skills. In the meantime, you’ll have time to look through the menu and choose your coffee and croissant.
iii) Dress appropriately – Keep it simple.
Coffee dates are kinda casual, but that doesn’t mean you can hop in the cafe in your PJs. Your dressing sense is what people look at and judge. They define your personality.
So dress something comfy that makes you feel confident. Keep it minimalistic yet stylish. For men, a casual shirt and a nice pair of blue jeans with sneakers would do.
Women can go for anything chic or classy dress with heels. Don’t overdress, as it will ruin your first impression.
iv) Be mindful of your body language and be present.
Actions speak louder than words! Yes, your body language can say a lot about your thoughts, feelings, and self-perception. So, when on a coffee date, paying attention to your body language is important.
Make eye contact and smile often (not too often to make yourself look like a joker!) to show that you’re engaged, comfortable, and interested in the conversation. Avoid crossing your arms or fidgeting because it shows your nervousness and underconfidence.
Be present throughout the coffee date, no matter how low-key or casual it looks. Your date made the effort to come and meet you, so they deserve your full attention. Turn off your phone and actively listen to them.
v) Keep the date short and sweet.
As we said, a first coffee date is kind of like a screener to see if you want to take them out again. So, you need to keep the conversion light and sweet.
Bonus points if you add a bit of humor and make flirty comments. Have some conversation topics and questions handy. When you arrive, compliment your date right away by saying, “You look beautiful/handsome.”
If you do like them, it’s best to tell her that you’d like to see them again, so there’s no question. If not, a simple “nice meeting you,” “Take care,” or “Good luck out there!” will do the trick.
vi) Pay attention to your date’s cues.
If your date seems uninterested or uncomfortable, it could be a sign that they are not enjoying themselves and feel you’re not a good match. So make sure to pay attention to their body language and verbal cues.
Try to cooperate with them rather than going against them. If your date is leaning in and asking plenty of questions, then that may mean they’re interested in you. Take action accordingly!
vii) Don’t make it look like an interview.
This is one of the common mistakes people make on coffee dates. The date may start to seem a lot like an interview after a while.
Let’s take an example where someone is asking you the same questions over and over again about yourself and not really sharing anything about themselves. If things continue in this manner, it may get boring.
So, start small. Talk about where they’re from, their interests, what they like to do in their spare time, their favorite memories, and their next plan for the day.
Don’t delve too much unless they openly discuss the topic in question. You’re just trying to match each other’s vibe and energy. More feelings, less information!
viii) Be kind no matter how you feel.
Speaking of not wanting to see your date again, it’s always best to be your kind self when ending a coffee date. Even if you had a terrible time counting the minutes, you should still present yourself in the best possible light and behave politely.
There is a certain degree of benefit of the doubt that you must offer someone, especially if it was a blind date or met through dating apps. No matter how bad or unexpected things turn out, try to be mature.
The Bottom Line
There is no wrong or right answer to the question, “How long should a coffee date last? Some claim 45 minutes is more than enough to decide your next step, while others prefer two hours to really get to know the ins and outs of the person.
However, experts recommend a short coffee date to encourage the chances of a second or third date. The goal should be to connect with someone you truly like.
If your date is going well, extend it for over an hour! But, if you have been silently rolling your eyes since your date started chatting, it is time to leave.
Be sure to be kind. As long as you like each other’s company, who knows, your date might last all night!
FAQs
1. How should a coffee date end?
Ans: If your coffee date went well, offer a light hug or kiss and say thank you. But if you’re not happy with your date, you can say, “Thank you. It was nice knowing. Good luck out there.”
2. How long should the 1st date last?
Ans: On average, a first date should last between 45 minutes and two hours. It all depends on how comfortable you are and how well the date is going.
3. Is an hour long enough for a coffee date?
Ans: No, a one-hour coffee date is a good time to get to know the person and their likes and interests. Ideally, a coffee date should last at least 45 minutes and up to 2 hours.
4. What does a coffee date mean to a guy?
Ans: For a guy, a coffee date is a casual, low-pressure way to meet someone they’re interested in. The girl is trying to get to know you and your nature.
5. Should you kiss on a first date?
Ans: It’s completely OK to kiss your partner on a first date but with consent. It depends on how you feel, the vibes, the connection, and how comfortable you’re with them.
6. How do you flirt on a coffee date?
Ans: Once you both are done talking about each other’s likes and dislikes, drop a few flirty comments on their outfits, hair, or random things to match their energy.
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